Uncovered! - The Naked Road From Timid Girl To Confident Woman

Expression is a Sign of Strength...

I grabbed my virtual pen to write, and for the first time, I am stuck…STUCK? Yes, you better believe this long winded pipe mouth of a woman is stuck, because I almost couldn’t figure out where to start in defining this now amazingly beautiful life, I have begun to embrace in the last five years.

You are probably wondering “Okay, so your life is beautiful Alex…Great Job that you have it all well and good. However, that’s just not my cup of cappuccino”. Yes, I get you…But! Wait a sec…What you probably may not realise – is that my life isn’t perfect – not by thirty four yards of the brightest African Damask you can find in the market, it isn’t… but it hasn’t stopped me from thinking it’s still bloody amazing. I’m so AMAZING – Well, because it’s all in the mind, right? Everything we do. What we achieve, what we believe, and how we present ourselves all come down to what we are constantly thinking and brewing in our minds.

Are we sowing seeds of doubts? Are we letting those centuries of limiting beliefs poured into us from our diaper days fester in our pretty heads?

Are we building layer upon layers of the most expensive foundation- think the perfect shade of Mary Kay, MAC or Iman…right on top of our acne of limitations and blemish of weaknesses?

Are we letting society define who we should be – Or are we empowering ourselves to go for GOALS and embrace all the immeasurable challenges that we encounter along the way?

Are we coming out battle ready, clutching our weaknesses close to our lace panties, yet holding on to our strengths as we beat our chest with pride, knowing we are not in any way ashamed to conquer our personal devils and reach for the finish line, ready for greatness.

While thinking about that, I decided to do a bit of research out of curiosity. I wanted to know what other people felt about me – for the heck of it.

Oh, just so we’re clear, I’ve long stopped caring to be validated – validated by imperfect bull-shitters like my former self, but it’s still necessary sometimes, to take a few cautionary steps back – PAUSE a little and then ask “How far have I come?” Because, if you have a roadmap to where you are going, and know just how far you have covered in your laboured journey to only God knows where, you can indeed visualise the rest of the journey ahead, and carry along, EVERYTHING it will take, for you to get there.

So I sent out a WhatsApp message on my phone, as I started to write – I wanted to know what other names, people will call me if they had the chance to christen me, a second name. The feedback was overwhelming…A Film-maker Frederic said, “Alex, I’ll call you Wonder Woman…” An Actress and Colleague of mine – Queen Blessing said, “Alex, I will call you Brave…”. Prince Felix said “Alex my dear, you are nothing short of an Enigma…”. Yemi Blaq, an award winning actor friend of mine said “Tornado”, and Victoria said “Sexy Genius”, “Queen of Naked Movement…A One Woman Riot Squad” …Ha ha ha…I couldn’t help bursting out in laughter.

Geez! These people certainly had names for days. Crazzzzy people – The truth is that, I have been called many things. “Brilliant, Talented, An Inspiration. A Woman in the eye of times”. I have even been called “Hurricane Alex” by a famous Nigerian Musician … Hahaha… But if there was anything I picked from the names they called me, they all alluded to the fact that I have indeed, earned the right to write a book like this, and share my unconventional thoughts and my journey from self doubt to greatness – with others.

So who is this now confident thirty-four year old, strutting her NAKED Philosophy for the entire world to gawk at? Well – asides from being an all-round creative, thanks to my musician father for catching my mom, putting a ring on her finger and shooting his artistic sperm down her fertile ovaries…I am here…Alexandra Adaeze Okoroji – A One Woman Tornado who lives in the heart of Africa and has built an impressive 13 year career as a Nigerian Actress, Writer, TV Personality, Author, Speaker and a 24 hour Boom box…He he he…(I have been known to talk for days). Being the host of a popular international talk radio show, isn’t helping matters. I’m constantly talking and talking.

In fact, I have this funny theory, that I’m probably the right person to stage more dialogues between countries at war…my chirpiness is consuming, Infectious. I have never planned a ten minutes meeting with anyone, that didn’t somehow last longer. And I have my gigantic phone bills to show for it. I can’t imagine someone having the strength to plot evil next to me. My talk energy is over powering, draining…hopefully in the most positive way.

I’m starting to think I could in fact end terrorism.

Seeing how I have so many times been responsible, for talking an armed robber out of shooting me or someone else in the picture, all in my dreams, of course! Ha! I know it sounds ridiculous but it’s true. I’ve had so many dream sequences of me saving the day – Bring in A-L-E-X-A-N-D-R-A – Defender of Mankind. Yup! I stand by the greek meaning of my name.

I am almost confident about my abilities to talk myself out of almost any situation, including the one time a couple of police men stopped me and my camera crew on our way back from a TV shoot, for a program called Mega-Vision – I had been hosting on television, back in 2007. I guess after 30 minutes of talking with the policeman and him realising I was in no mood to pull out a dime to bribe him for nothing , he finally let us go. See – just let me do the darn talk.

I am the Queen of Expression and I advocate 100% for more people to express themselves. It has saved many assumptions, failing relationships, increased employee salaries, got leaders to be accountable, and has saved many lives in distress. It even propelled my ex-husband to finally pick up the mantle of responsibility for our son, (even if, for just one minute). Okay, that’s still work in progress. But at least, in the last two years, he called two or three times to speak to our son. Ha ha. Somebody please shout Alleluyah!

I believe the gossip from gist mongers, plus that silly unauthorised article that trended in the newspapers and gossip blogs, might have finally motivated him to take action. But that’s news for another day.

See unexpressed emotions = Dead Outcome and No Results. If you want something, you ask for it. If you feel something, it’s okay to say it and by all means – please show it.

Think of the regrets you have for all the things left unsaid, things you could or should have communicated and articulated, but never did.

My mantra is “Expression is a sign of STRENGTH – not weakness”. 

Yeah, how can telling someone you love them, be considered “weakness”? How can showing one’s gratitude or remorse – not come from a place of intense strength? I had to learn that.

I also had to teach myself how to be vulnerable, how to strip off the ‘ice princess’ mask – the one I wore 24/7; the one that made me unapproachable, unreadable, while covering up my true feelings and worrying about people taking me for granted.

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